i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
