Your tits are I can't wait for
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
