Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
