Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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