So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
