I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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