oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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