Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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