Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You don't make any sense
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