So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
