Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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