K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
