I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
