I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
