Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
