Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
