I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
