He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize