He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize