You can't motorboat a personality
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think i have herpe
just one?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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