I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
