he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
