Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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