Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just found a bag of teeth...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
