I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
