'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
