well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
