The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
