My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
