things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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