y did u give ur computer a hand job?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
there was a trapeze. enough said
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
