You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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