i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
a search helicopter?!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
