i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
