the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
