So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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