So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
