guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
