dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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