I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
