this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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