How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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