Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
