Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
