Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
