I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
