'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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