so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize