Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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