So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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