At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
