no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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