shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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