This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
