Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
