two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
