At least make sure they are 18
Why
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize