Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
