come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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