Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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