Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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