btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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