false alarm. still invincible.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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