Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
