sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
