i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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