margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
