I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
