After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
