Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
