I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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