Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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