cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
